The Enneagram isn’t just your garden-variety personality test; it’s a deep dive into your soul’s operating system. But let’s spice it up with some humor—because why self-reflect when you can laugh and self-reflect? Alongside your core type, your subtype—Self-Preservation (SP), Social (SO), or One-to-One (1:1)—adds another layer of complexity. Think of it as your personality’s secret sauce.

Here’s how these subtypes show up in relationships, work, and times of crisis, with examples to keep it as real as your last existential crisis.

1. Self-Preservation Subtype (SP): The Survivalist

These folks have a PhD in Practicality and are always five steps ahead—because who knows when the zombie apocalypse might hit?

In Personal Relationships:

SP types show their love through acts of service, like stockpiling groceries or ensuring the Wi-Fi bill is paid on time (true romance, right?). They’re the ones who will remind you to wear a jacket because “you’ll catch your death out there.”

Example: Maria, an SP Six, insists on a monthly fire drill for her and her partner. Sure, it’s excessive, but you’ll be glad when she saves you from the next kitchen grease fire.

At Work:

They’re the coworker who has a backup for the backup plan. Need someone to double-check the budget, forecast risks, and ensure there’s coffee in the break room? Call an SP type.

Example: Tom, an SP One, ensures every presentation is pixel-perfect. His colleagues appreciate his attention to detail but secretly wish he’d let that one typo slide just once.

During Crisis:

SP types are the ones raiding Costco for bulk toilet paper when trouble looms. Their mantra: “If we don’t survive, at least we’ll be prepared.”

Example: During a hurricane, Sarah, an SP Nine, calmly hands out flashlights, snacks, and a color-coded evacuation plan while everyone else is panicking. Superhero vibes, much?

2. Social Subtype (SO): The Networker

If life were a party, SO types would be the ones organizing it, managing the guest list, and making sure no one’s left out. And yes, they’ll post about it later.

In Personal Relationships:

SO types are social glue, keeping everyone connected. They’ll remember your dog’s birthday and send you a group text about it, just so you feel included.

Example: Raj, an SO Three, is that guy who throws Instagram-worthy dinner parties. Sure, his partner wishes he’d spend more time off his phone, but hey, content is king.

At Work:

They’re the unofficial morale boosters, ensuring everyone feels like part of the team. Need someone to organize a team-building event? The SO subtype will have a karaoke machine ready.

Example: Lisa, an SO Seven, is the life of every meeting, but she’s also the one convincing everyone to join the company’s “Fun Run.” (Spoiler: It’s never fun.)

During Crisis:

In a disaster, SO types rally the troops. They’ll organize relief efforts, check on neighbors, and somehow still make time for a Zoom call to discuss it.

Example: During a neighborhood blackout, James, an SO Two, goes door-to-door delivering candles like a saint. He won’t mention it…except to everyone in his group chat.

3. One-to-One Subtype (1:1): The Intense One

1:1 types are like a Netflix drama—deep, passionate, and always leaving you wanting more (or a little overwhelmed).

In Personal Relationships:

They don’t do “casual.” For them, relationships are all or nothing, filled with grand gestures and emotional intensity. “Just talking” isn’t in their vocabulary.

Example: Sophie, a 1:1 Four, writes sonnets for her partner on a regular Tuesday. It’s sweet until she’s offended they didn’t cry while reading them.

At Work:

They bring fire and focus to their projects. Collaboration? Sure, but only if it’s meaningful. They prefer a two-person brainstorming session over a committee any day.

Example: Alex, a 1:1 Eight, works best one-on-one. He’s not a fan of office small talk but will fiercely champion his team members in meetings—like a protective parent at a PTA meeting.

During Crisis:

When the going gets tough, 1:1 types double down on what matters most. They’re like emotional first responders—but don’t get in their way, or you might regret it.

Example: Megan, a 1:1 Five, spends a family health crisis researching every treatment option like a medical detective. Don’t try to stop her; she’s already ten tabs deep into PubMed.

And What Else?

The Enneagram subtypes—SP, SO, and 1:1—add flavor to your personality and shape how you navigate life. Whether you’re hoarding snacks, hosting dinner parties, or passionately defending your loved ones, these instincts drive your behavior in fascinating (and often hilarious) ways.

So, which subtype are you? And are you laughing, cringing, or both? Either way, don’t worry—there’s no such thing as a perfect subtype… unless you’re an SP, and then you probably have a spreadsheet to prove otherwise. 😉